Why Domestic Abuse? (1/3)

Why am I choosing this moment to write about domestic abuse? Many of you may be shocked to read this, but I am a survivor of domestic abuse. I want to share my story for a few reasons: 1) I want to be the voice I needed to hear 4 years ago, 2) I want to attempt to provide some insight into abusive relationships so people can have some understanding and may be able to help others, and 3) I want to change the stigma of abused women being weak and powerless and show that they have had more strength than most people know through their entire situation.

*Warning, there may be triggers in this blog. There are stories of both physical and emotional abuse. If you are in immediate need of help, call the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255

 

As I these blogs are being posted, I am currently on a 50-mile run in the high country of the 

Sierra Nevada Mountains. I ran this loop back in 2014 before I entered my abusive relationship. I am running it again today to show myself and others that my abuser didn’t take my strength away from me and that the mental and physical strength I had before was not lost. I will not be mentioning my abuser’s name or details about them. I am not sharing my story for sympathy or any sort of revenge. I am sharing to try to help the many women out there that are like me. I want to try to make good out of a shitty situation. I do not hate my abuser and I do not want him to be punished or suffer because of me sharing my story, but I do hope he seeks out the help he needs.  I hope every day that he never treats another human being in this way ever again. 

Along today's run!

 

People think it takes huge mental strength to complete the runs I do, including this 50-mile solo run, and yes, it does. But the mental strength it takes to do these runs is nothing compared to the mental strength I had in an abusive relationship. The strength was focused on every day survival instead of focused on things I wanted to do. Any person who has been in an abusive relationship can attest to the strength it takes to just survive. Because surviving takes so much strength, you don’t see that you have any strength left to leave the situation and go out on your own. It is almost impossible in the moment to think any further than that day or that week. 

 

While I am on a 50-mile run to show how strong I continue to be, there will be a two more blogs and posts about my story. If you feel compelled to share any of it, please do. I want to facilitate discussions amongst friends and family about domestic violence so we can try to help prevent and stop it when we see it. While I cannot tell everything that happened, I hope to give a glimpse into abusive relationships and the manipulation that is used.