Living With an Eating Disorder *Warning, may contain triggering content*
I have struggled with disordered eating (atypical anorexia to be specific) and body dysmorphia since my sophomore year in high school. It is something that comes and goes through different times in my life. I want to write about it for two reasons. 1) so others with similar struggles don’t feel so alone and 2) to hold myself more accountable for my decisions around food and exercise. This time of year my job is very busy and I always end up losing a few pounds over the holiday periods. But that is not solely because of how busy and active my job is. I use that busyness as an excuse to skip meals and live in a calorically depleted state. And when I do eat, there is a calorie counter in my head that thinks about each calorie I put into my body and how many calories I think I am burning each day. Then, when you add on aspects of life that feel completely out of my control, I then control my calorie consumption even further. When I feel out of control of life, controlling my consumption of
